Updated April 25, 2025
Part 2 of my much-loved article on the beautiful chaos of European ski resorts (aka “they don’t care about you and it’s great”)…
Intro
Skiing in Europe is like trying to read IKEA instructions mid-avalanche. You’re never totally sure where you are, what that blue triangle symbol means, or why the “red” piste you just dropped into is clearly a black in disguise.
And yet… it kind of rules.
Allow me to explain.
“Intermediate” in Europe means “hope you stretched”
If you’re used to North American grading, buckle up. Because here, blues feel like reds, reds feel like blacks, and blacks? Those are just icy cliffs with broken fencing.
There’s no consistency. No explanation.
One moment you’re cruising a mellow groomer. Next minute you’re in a 40° couloir wondering if that last sign actually said “caution” or just “good luck.”
You can’t deny this adds to the excitement!
The piste maps are art projects
The trail map looks great on paper. Panoramic. Colourful. Confident.
And completely disconnected from reality.
You’ll follow a blue run that’s actually red, only to find it merges with another piste that has three names and maybe drops you in Italy? You’re not sure. You’re just hungry and the lift down there looks like it goes somewhere important.
Borders Are Just Suggestions Here
Recently in Portes du Soleil (France), I dropped into what I thought was just another mellow red run. No signs, no warnings—just a nice little descent through the trees.
Ten minutes later, I was in Switzerland.
No fanfare. No border checkpoint. Just a different flag and a liftie charging me five francs for an espresso.
No one told me the piste map included a different country!
I didn’t even have data. I just sat there in the sun, slightly lost, wondering how many jurisdictions I’d accidentally entered.
Bottom Line
You’ll be lost. You’ll be tired. You’ll be stoked.
Half the time you don’t know which chair you’re on. The run names are in three languages. The signs are hand-painted onto a rock. You’re skiing next to a 70-year-old in jeans and you feel like you’re hallucinating.
But it’s massive. It’s beautiful. And every single run ends in cheese, beer, or espresso.
So yeah, the signs are useless.
But once you give up trying to know exactly where you are…
You’ll have the best day of your season.
